The Bubble's and the Gum's
by Zidiane
Summary: Finn walks in on a private moment in Princess Bubblegum's bedroom. Princess Bubblegum takes responsibility for traumatizing Finn and teaches him about what he saw. Rated M for a single situation in the first chapter.
1. Chapter 1

Heya, kids. How're you doing, huh? Oh, that's nice. I'm doing fairly well, thank you for asking. This is my first AAAAADVENTURE TIIIIME fanfic. Hope ya'll like it.

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"HIIIIIIYAAAAAAH!"

Being a hero is great. You get the satisfaction of helping people, you get to hang out with princesses, and, the best part, you get to fight all kinds of evil monsters and stuff!

"HUAH, RAAAAHH!"

I cut down another evil Skeleton, its evil essence evaporating into the air. I must be getting close to one hundred by now, with all the hacking and slashing and tearing I've been doing with my Hero Sword! EPIC! I think this is the most amount of evil I've ever defeated at one time!

"KYAAAH!"

I cut another one in half, and it makes an evil screech before it disappears. They all do. I slice through three at a time, grunting at the effort. Before I can continue my combo, I hear someone call out to me.

"FIIIIIINN!"

The voice is as familiar to me as my own; it belongs to my brother and best bud, Jake. "Oh, man, Jake," I called out over my shoulder, cutting down another two Skeletons, "You missed ALL the best parts!" There couldn't be more than twenty of them left over.

"Awww, maaan… I was busy fighting these rock suckas! You could have waited for me, dude!"

"Well, you snooze with rock suckas," I shouted over my shoulder as I cut down several more Skeletons, "you loose with rock suckas!"

Rushing to get SOME of the Skeleton action, Jake stretched out with a giant fist to punch the remaining Skeleton's across the field. They all turned to Evil smoke as they landed.

This was such an awesome fight, but I'm kind of tired. "Well," I say, resting my hands on my hips and looking around the clearing. I did an excellent job here, on my own. Fighting with Jake is the best, but it's nice to know I can dish it out on my own, too. "It looks like that's the end of them."

As soon as the words left my mouth, the ground started to rumble. The earth started to crack and crumble, eventually letting lose a giant hand from beneath the ground. This giant, what obviously was a Skeleton, pulled itself up and stood tall, easily 10 times my height.

"OHH! DIBS!" Jake called out, increasing his size as fast as he could. In less than two seconds he stood taller than the Skeleton.

"You sure, dude?"

"Yeah, he's-uh-" he said, interrupted by grappling with the Skeleton, "a small fry! You can just go ahead and report to PB without me! Besides, I need some glory."

"Shouldn't we report to her together?"

"Nah, it's almost 4'oclock anyway, I gotta see Lady after this!" He maneuvered the Skeleton into a headlock. "Go on, get some face time with _your_ lady."

"Ugh, you know it's not like that anymore!" I shouted, feeling my cheeks flush. Jake chuckled, giving the Skeleton a nuggie 30 feet above my head. "Well, I'll see you at home, then!"

I was getting kind of tired… I have enough energy to get to the Candy Kingdom, and that's it. Well, time to concentrate on running so I don't trip.

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Getting to the Candy Kingdom didn't take long, no more than 10 minutes run-jogging, but I'm exhausted. Oh, how nice it would be to just lay down and curl up. But I have to find the Princess and report our victory.

Walking through the castle, I notice something off. I haven't seen a single candy person since I walked in. All the doors are shut, with no signs of life anywhere. I make it all the way to the throne room without seeing anyone, and I start to get nervous.

"Why, hellooo, Finn!"

My heart nearly jumps out of my chest as a voice appears behind me. "Whoa!" I turn to face the voice, and see a familiar face."Oh… hey, PepBut!"

Peppermint Butler titled his head "PepBut? Why, that sounds rather undignified. Anyway, I assume the outcome of the Skeleton horde was favorable?" I smile, and feel myself puff up a bit. "Are you injured?"

I look down at my clothes. They are torn and tattered all over; it looks like I just went through a shredder."Just a few scrapes and bumps, nothing serious." It was true, the skeletons were surprisingly weak.

"Ah. I see. Well, you should go see the princess, then, to report your success officially. Last I saw her, she said she was getting ready in her beadroom."

"Getting ready? Oh, yeah, Peppermint Butler, where are all the other candy people? I haven't seen a single person since I got here…"

"Oh, ho-ho-ho, no, nothing sinister has happened. The Princess is going to hold a special sugar banquet in the kitchen-hall today."

"Oh," that makes sense… sorta. "So, will PB be in the Kitchen-hall with everyone else?"

"Oh, no, royalty never shows up early to banquets. The event shouldn't start for another hour, so she won't be there until at least then."

Oh man, an hour? I don't think I can stay awake that long. Let me go check her room before trying to find her at the feast thing. Maybe she decided to get there earlier anyway. "Thanks, see you later!" I was tired, but I felt more energized than before as I ran towards the Princesses bedroom.

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Huffing and wheezing, I finally finished the final step. I'm out of breath. Whoo.

After catching my breath, I noticed something weird: there were no guards outside of PB's room. That's weird, isn't it? I feel a sinking pit of worry in my stomach. There are ALWAYS guards outside of her room, or at least in the hallways. Sure, they never seemed effective when the Ice King rolled around, but they were always supposed to be there. Had something terrible happened? Was it some kind of sugar magic?

I drew my sword and stalked towards the door to the Princess's room. There was a noise. "Princess?" I whispered. I press my ear to the door and strained to hear. I can hear… something… the Princess? Yes, its definitely her! She sounds like she's in pain, breathing heavily and make strange noises. I don't think I've ever heard her make those noises before, or anyone else for that matter. I don't hear anyone else in the room… but she's definitely in trouble!

I immediately kicked in the door, my sword raised high, shouting "Princess, are you alright?"

"F-F-F-Finn!"

The sound of my sword hitting the ground barely registers in my mind. My face burns hotter than it ever had before. I couldn't pull my eyes away, even though I know I should. _I don't think she's in trouble_, I thought.

She was… was… on her bed. She didn't have her dress on… she didn't have anything on. She was laying down, facing away from me, with her perfectly pink butt up in the air. Her naked butt. Her very naked, very round butt. She… her hands, they were… touching, rubbing, entering places…

"Don't look…!" I heard her scream out strangely, breathlessly, before my world went black.

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Author's Box

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So? Have fun? Hope so. I plan to have one additional chapter for this particular story, maybe some more if you guys _really_ like it, but I have an extensive long-term plan for this fandom. I really like the characters and the show and the animation and the designs, I just hope its fans are as magical. So, yeah, this is the part where I beg for reviews.


	2. Chapter AB

Heeeeeeey guuuuuuys... few things.

First off, reviews are meant to give the author a sense of how their story made you feel. Those kinds of reviews make it easiest for us to jump into action and use all of their free time to make some free entertainment for you.

Second off, there are reviews that do the exact opposite for the author. Reviews where you demand more free entertainment or swear at the author (either while demanding more free shit or not) make the author not even want to continue.

Now, I leave anonymous reviews on because I just feel like that's the best option, and I'm sorry to the subscribed members who think this is another chapter, but I feel like I had to say this. Hey, does this count as fuckin' more?


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